Alone

all my schoolmates just dissappear....or would i say they are useless....or should i blame my parents for it......i realise that no one will ask me out...why?? cause of my parents....well not only my schoolmates lah....my other friends too....they mind what they think which im not....now i know why nobody wants to call me....which is why i have to take the initiative to call....my dad always say the same thing to me.....wait for people to call me instead u calling people...why so ke-po....and yes i did what he said and it turns out worse.....my parents think they are giving me bad influence...i always use his philosophy to defend myself and my parents will just say u like to argue with us....great theres goes my thinking of being a good girl...u taught me what to do and now u say this to me....now theres another big problem....i stay in Klang....and its hard for me to go out with friends who stayed far far away from me....thy can come down few times to pick me up but later on they will feel fed up....they always ask me why i stay so far.....if not i will ask u out....how i wish im not staying here lah for goodness sake....and the truth is im born in KL but stay in klang....*sweat* sometimes they want to have lunch or dinner in subang or pj i have to drive out and pay tol which they don need to....actually i don mind but is my parents who are stopping me....when friends call me out for tea in subang they will say why waste petrol and tol......this happened when im celebrating friendship anniversary with my besties..... i quarreled with my dad before i went out....he say this...why u guys plan dinner till pyramid....cant u have it in klang....wasting petrol and tol....i was like cause klang does not have this cafe we want to eat....he always ask me this question which i hate it so much....so what time u coming back what time u coming back~~~~ this kind of question i cant never answer him because i myself dont know the time....yes u set time for me but u should know its not enough for me....i love to go out at night and its dangerous for gals but depends on who u hang out with....grace they care for you grace they just want to protect you....gosh i heard this a trillion times and im so fed up....because of them no one call me....and when i take the first step they will be scolding me like shit...SERIOUSLY i dont know how i can take this.....how i wish im not exist...whats the point of me coming to this world with no enjoyment of life......people say life is short....and i agree that so very much.....why cant my parents just get over it....after work i wish someone would call me out for tea....im always alone alone alone....go gym and shop also alone.....maybe watching movie alone will be my next thing to do...my friend say im too active already....isn't it a good thing......too active also not good....too passive also not very good...so what should it be then....i haven been going clubbing for a month...and haven been meeting up with my friends...maybe its bcos im in Klang which is why they don want to ask me out?? or i should call them out?? oh well....looks like im going to be alone forever or be a widow la....life here is not fun at all.....want to go back Perth also a hard thing for me....gosh....whats wrong with my life??? can anyone tell me.....sigh....