ever since i came back from Perth i'm not very happy because i knew that once i'm back home i will get back to my old life (a bird who spread its wings for sometime all of the sudden it had to go back to its cage again)...so all the fun i had is just for one year and definitely not enough for me...I'm that type of person that hates to stay at home.....love to hang out with friends, clubbing, drinking...ahhhhhh........why can't i enjoy all this here.....i thought when i start working...everything will slowly change....hell no.....after working hours start calling ask where am i....what time coming back....what the fuck is this...hello....my work life just begin....this is not study life anymore....why cant thy look in a different angle....i don't mind if thy call saying go get your own dinner.....but this is too much.....fucking over the limit of protection level....my best friends ask me to be patient....arghhhhh....i had enough....I'm turning 23 on August....and if this continues i will go crazy.....freaking ridiculous....don't tell me once i'm married they will let me go....fuck it...that aint gonna happen....i want to enjoy before that....i want my own social life....i want to do whatever i want....once married all this enjoyment is gone....i've wasted my teenager life already and i'm upset about it...my friends say i'm lucky cause of this and that....i was like....what's the point.....yeah they will buy whatever i ask but right now its different...what i want is more than that...and whether they like it or not they still gotta let go...my best friend say who knows maybe they will get u a boyfriend....oh fuck....if this happen from my crazy mode to insane....the world is changing....not traditional type anymore..its modern world....for goodness sake...
i told myself stop lying to my parents but looks like i have to continue telling them lies...totally no freedom at all...cant enjoy anything....they really make my life meaningless.....working from Monday to Friday...Saturday and Sunday stay home do nothing...yeah Sunday is a family shopping day....but sometimes i feel bored too....one thing i hate is when they call me while im having dinner with my colleagues or have a drink with friends...i feel embarrassing when i talk to them on the phone because i don want my friends to know....and i will get piss off when they say stupid things for me to hear...and i will lose my patience shouting back to them....i don't understand aren't they tired and just let it be...because for me i'm totally tired of it....so when ever they called what i do is i just let them shout, scold, swear or what so ever...once thy are done i will just answer one word...OH....and they hung up....thats it....cause no point for me arguing with them....waste my time....
all my friends say i'm lucky because of this and that....you haven face the real working life...the feeling of earning money...yaya....from outside you see i'm lucky but u you guys don't know what happen inside...even my closest friends said the same thing....but if you guys were me....i'm sure u will runaway from home or quarrel with them everyday or something else which i myself don't even know what it iis...
the most weirdest thing is...when i tried to be a good girl stay at home for like almost a week and all of the sudden i say wanna go out shopping or a drink with my friends they will say this....why you like to go out everyday...its like a trend....and i hate it when they say that...because its not logical at all....and another trend is before i step out from the house...they will start scolding and swearing and say stupid stuff...meaning...when i say im going out with friends there is always no peace between me and my parents...i must quarrel with them before i go out...and sometimes i always have a bad feeling about it....afraid something bad might happen to me...yea yea i know it sounds superstitious but u will never know what happen next....
i just feel that my life is meaningless...feeling lonely...and because of them my gap between all my friends is getting bigger....no social life at all....can't meet new friends....easily get bully....my parents is totally over protective till i cant learn to be independent....no exposure...totally don't know about the outside business world...i can just say this...totally don't know anything at all....i'm jealous of my cousins...stay overseas...their parents are not as strict like mine...they know more things than me....get to enjoy thier teenager lifes....and me just a freaking lousy bird whose in the cage for so many years...don't know everything....don't get to enjoy...
so yeah...that's my life here....all my friends say i keep wanting to go back Perth is because of him...yaya....you guys don't understand how i feel......he is not my main reason...its freedom....to be honest i really enjoy my life back there...thats the life i want.....
1 comment:
maybe u should learn wat is the meaning of satisfield,,,,,u have evything but still kip complaining ..... ur situation much better than mine at least u hav friends, relatives n family by ur side to giv u support but me .....nothing. i only got my hubby. stop to complaining cz ur parent never owe u, freedom not evything n do cherish n luv them cz they r the only parent u hav in this life
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